10 Lesson from 10 Years of Recovery

By day I’m a dietitian, by night I’m a human navigating recovery from my own eating disorder. It’s been about 10 years since I chose recovery, started seeing a dietitian myself and going to therapy to talk about my struggles with food, exercise and body image. Now I’m lucky enough to support others in their own healing journey — reducing food noise, building more trust with themselves and food and thriving instead of just surviving day in and day out.

In honor of eating disorder awareness week, I’m sharing 10 lessons I’ve learned.

it’s about the food and it’s not about the food.

I say this to potential new clients in consult calls ALL. THE. TIME. Your beliefs about food are definitely informed by your experiences and identities in this world AND disordered eating is often a way that we access safety, connection, comfort when we can’t access these in our relationships, home life and environments. Healing often means exploring our beliefs AND processing ways that food had to meet other needs

perfectionism, rigid rules and control are often more clear

when you are lost in your relationship with food and don’t trust YOURSELF. It’s much easier to trust a plan that says “eat this”, “don’t eat that” or this is “good” or this is “bad” when your internal world is swirling with confusing information and beliefs. to get through the day our brain often chooses black and white thinking to make sense of food decisions you make multiple times in a day.

recovery isn’t always about wanting to eat

it’s about making food easier when your appetite is low, you’re constipated, you binged the night before so you can get through less than ideal situations

you will feel stuck in your healing

until you let go of trying to change other people’s beliefs about health, food, movement and body size…

Your healing can not be contingent on other people who have likely contributed or fuel disordered thoughts changing their behaviors or beliefs.

AND, it’s important to hold space, witness and process

the grief, anger and disappointment when others in your life continue to do things that cause you harm. This allows you to move through those feelings and identify what you may need to feel supported in those relationships (which sometimes means ending them)

transitions in life may challenge your healing

Going to college or living on your own, chronic pain or illness, new diagnoses, getting pregnant, post partum, aging generally but especially perimenopause/menopause all are periods where you’re often navigating changes in your body and identity.

It makes sense that old coping tools become that much more appealing

your body will change throughout your life

and not because you did something wrong or didn’t do enough. It will change because no one’s body is in a static state forever. That’s why body image work is not a destination but an ongoing, dynamic process full of seasons of highs, lows and neutrality

trying to control disordered thoughts is not helpful

Fighting with your brain will just leave you exhausted.

Learning to notice these thoughts, name and acknowledge them as a part of you instead of ALL of you helps them feel less powerful. But this doesn’t happen overnight

mechanical eating is, indeed, as bad as it sounds.

It’s not the goal for forever (because joy with food is important). AND early on in healing, in high times of stress, illness, medication side effects, etc. it’s an important tool to lean on

recovery is hard and can stir up grief and loss

Loss of the body you idealized but know is not sustainable. Grief for the years you’ve lost to food noise and body obsession.

The goal is not to fix or solve grief but to learn how to make space for it and move through the feelings that come along with - sadness, anger, hopelessness, fear, acceptance

If these reminders, resonated, just know you are not alone. Wherever you are on your healing journey, there is support to meet you at that place. Support isn’t always about pushing you to the next step, it’s about creating space to understand where you are, how you got there and where you want to be while recognizing what feels possible and tolerable right now.

If you are need of an eating disorder dietitian in NY or CA, reach out to our team. Whether we are taking new clients or not, we are always happy to give referrals. You can also get more reminders by following us on Instagram or Tiktok or at our Substack